Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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