Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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