I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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