I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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