What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
