Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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