I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
