Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
