The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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