The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize