Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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