there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize