The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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