There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
