phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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