I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
