I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize