Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
