I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize