5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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