I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
