dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
