I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
