the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
