whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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