I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
