his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
