he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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