overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
