WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
