we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's rum buckets o'clock
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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