I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
