I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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