I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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