I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
