so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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