shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
