there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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