it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
