So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
