And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Your shirt... Was in my pants
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
