I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
