D3 body, D1 cock
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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