I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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