i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
