why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
