i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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