my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
