Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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