you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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