dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
