tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
and she was petting her beer can
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
