The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
