Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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