Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
