I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
