Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He felt like a one man threesome
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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